Vijay Mallya has done his bit to revolutionise cricket in India. It was the King of Good Times who brought in the idea of cheerleaders, and at least 50% of people (mainly those who don’t watch cricket) thought that was a great idea. Mallya, like other IPL franchisees, is busy as ever, and SportingAttitude has tried to help by writing his speech to be delivered if and when RCB win IPL 6. Here it is:
Many congratulations to my boys — they have proved me right by winning IPL, this year. Today, I am going to tell you the secret behind this great victory: GREEN.
We won because we are the only GREEN team in the world. You may object and say, no, Pakistan are also a green team. Then I would have to point out your error, my friends, and tell you that we are not THAT type of green. We are green as in environment. We support a green world and to that end we also have green uniforms. We love those uniforms so much that we have worn them only once.
On that day, I told Chris Gayle, today, we have to show the world that we really believe in our green philosophy; so you must score runs quickly and finish the game ASAP so that we can shut out the stadium floodlights and reduce carbon emission. Gayle listened to my words of wisdom and hit 36 runs off a single over (37, if you count the no-ball).
But I also love the carnival atmosphere under floodlights which I find electrifying. That’s why at RCB we don’t wear green uniforms everyday because on such days we will have to shut off the floodlights even if it means a batting collapse on our part.
So as the King of Good Times, I dedicate this win to good times, which you are guaranteed to have, if you drink a lot of Kingfisher beer, which will automatically mean good times for me when I check my bank balance.
Coming back to my favourite colour green, as in dollars, it was logical that RCB should have won IPL 4 because that was the only way we could drive all the other teams green – with envy.
Disclaimer: This article is intended as satire, and any resemblance to any persons living or dead is purely coincidental.
About the Author (Author Profile)
Jinxatious is the Chief Editor of SportingAttitude.com
An avid writer, on an eclectic range of subjects, he brings to bear editorial experience garnered with a national newspaper in South-East Asia. He also has sportscasting experience, as a cricket commentator, and his passion for sport extends beyond Cricket, to Football, Tennis, and Olympic Sports.